Elyza HalperninHumor Darling#2000s Nostalgia! Remember When We Had Rights?Growing up in the 2000s, it didn’t seem like the world could get any worse. Between the war criminal president and Wall Street mortgage…Sep 3, 20222Sep 3, 20222
Elyza HalperninHumor DarlingThe Nicole Kidman AMC Intro, But It’s About Your Sad Little Apartment Where You Watch Netflix on…We come to this place for magic…mushrooms, that is, because watching Seinfeld by yourself is always more fun on mind-altering drugs.Jun 22, 20221Jun 22, 20221
Elyza HalperninHumor DarlingEaster Bunny Sending Out Virtual ‘E-Eggs’ This Year Due To High Gas PricesDon’t expect a festive little basket of candy-filled eggs on your doorstep this Easter, the Bunny’s gone remote.Apr 17, 2022Apr 17, 2022
Elyza HalperninHumor DarlingThe 2022 Best Picture Noms Described by Someone Who’s Definitely Seen All of ThemThe 2022 Oscars are almost here, and boy has it been a year! With everything so up in the air due to Ms. ’Rona, I straight forgot the…Mar 27, 2022Mar 27, 2022
Elyza HalperninHumor Darling2000s Pop-Punk Songs Re-Written for Aging EmosAttention aging emos! Grab your old Hot Topic gear out of your stepdad’s attic and skip your Zoloft so you can REALLY FEEL THE ANGUISH…Mar 2, 2022Mar 2, 2022
Elyza HalperninHumor DarlingHelp! My Galentine’s Day Party Conjured the Physical Manifestation of the Sacred FeminineBREAKING NEWS: A 28-year-old woman’s “Galentine’s Day Best Bitches Brunch” was cut short when an unexpected guest arrived: the physical…Feb 14, 2022Feb 14, 2022
Elyza HalperninHumor DarlingGeppetto Fires Chris Cuomo From His Position As A “Real Boy”It’s been a rough week for Cuomosexuals and former sentient marionettes alike, as Italian woodworker Geppetto, of Pinnochio fame, followed…Dec 15, 20211Dec 15, 20211
Elyza HalperninHumor DarlingShould You Invite Your New S.O. to Thanksgiving? A Fail-Safe FlowchartWondering if you should bring your new boo, partner, and/or sneaky link to Turkey Day with the fam? Use this fail-safe flowchart to help…Nov 24, 2021Nov 24, 2021
Elyza HalperninHumor DarlingNBC Greenlights Gen Z ‘Friends’ Reboot Titled ‘Besties’Ross and Rachel, will they or won’t they make it through the inevitable climate disaster?Oct 17, 2021Oct 17, 2021
Elyza HalpernL’Italiano di Bikini Bottom: Why Patrick Star Is Italianx CodedWe all know and love Patrick Star. il Bell’uomo. The inexplicably sensual rotund starfish with skin as pink as the coral of the Amalfi…Oct 6, 2021Oct 6, 2021
